Two Doors

I know people have been checking in here for the last couple of days, only to find nothing new and I do feel kind of guilty for disappearing for a while. Not that I didn't have good reason; the whole 'face incident' was traumatizing enough to make me want to crawl under the couch, ( if only my head would have fit!).

It's sometimes hard to strike a balance between living a life and writing about having one. A lot of things have happened in the past two weeks- some good, some sad, some itchy. Today was a day when I needed to take some time to think about all of it and decide what to do with what I've learned from everything that's happened. I realize that I've taken a few risks and put quite a bit of myself out there for everybody to see. I experienced some amazing gestures of friendship in my personal life as well as within the professional realm that I inhabit and I can't remember a time in the recent past when I felt more cared about. It felt pretty good and I think it helped me be a better friend to someone else who was having a difficult time. I will always be grateful for that.

A lot of the time when I write about things that are going on in my life, I tend to use a kind of code for what's happening- the people involved can always recognize what I'm talking about; others may have to guess or do a little detective work if they really want to know. Maybe they guess right, maybe they don't. It's not because I want to be mysterious so much as it is because I don't think the people in my life necessarily need to have themselves paraded through these posts for public consumption. Most of them haven't consciously signed on for that gig. I try to be kind and I try to be protective, because that's just the way I am (unless I'm worked up over some indignity....then look out!.... as you well know).

Today I made a decision to change a part of my life that's needed to be changed for a long time. I needed to do it so that I could move on to what feels as if it's going to be the best part of my life so far. A door that's stood part-ways open for a very long time is being closed and a new door has been opened. What exactly has happened? Well, maybe you'll guess right and maybe you won't, but while I am feeling somewhat wistful, I am also happier right now than I can remember being for a very long time. As I've written elsewhere, if I had to go through everything that's happened to me in the last six years to get to where I am now and to find what I've found; I'd gladly do it all again. It's good to finally be home.