The Space Needle is My Neighbor

"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Sunday, April 30, 2006

"Are We There Yet?"/ Taking A Wrong Turn On The Love Map

The other night I found myself discussing the existence of these things called "erotic templates".
In pop psychology they're more often called "love maps" (a little too 'Hallmark' for me). They're strong visual markers that point you in the direction of the people you're destined to be attracted to, and who will as a result, provide the bigggest payoff to your subconscious needs. The archetype of your perfect person whose image takes shape in your mind from childhood on, involving both the most positive and negative of experiences. Think for a moment of all of the most satisfying relationships you've ever had. Is there some common physical trait or characteristic that all of those people have shared? Now think of the ones that didn't go so well. Can you figure out what was missing? Whatever that "missing thing" was, apparently there was your assurance that the deal wasn't ultimately going to work out. Maybe you already knew about this and have your "shopping list" taped to the bathroom mirror. I've been reviewing my history and don't have a clue as to what mine is, at all. In the realm of relationships I must be an "equal opportunity offender". I see a line of short guys, tall guys; black, brown, red and blonde hair. Could it be these things are more hard-wired in some people than others? Am I just truly clueless? Maybe it's a Wittgenstein thing-the most obvious things around us are the things we don't see. Thank you, five years of therapy for truly giving me the clarity to choose an appropriate partner. Ha ha. Wait a minute. it.......their........glasses?


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