The Space Needle is My Neighbor

EIGHT YEARS AND COUNTING What Have We Learned So Far?
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
IMPORTANT NOTE: Click on the captions with dots. They are live links to additional content.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A New Kind Of 'Drunk Call' List



I have a friend who's compiled a convenient list on his myspace site of the people he'd be most likely to call after a drinking binge. Today, with the publication of Forbes magazine's list of 'America's Drunkest Cities', I can now go him one better by compiling a list in order of how likely it is that I'll receive a drunk call from a friend in most of the cities I've lived in.


Here's a brief overview of how Forbes put it all together:

To determine the rankings, Forbes started with a list of the largest metropolitan areas in the continental U.S. Thirty-five candidate cities were chosen based on availability of data and geographic diversity. Each city was ranked in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers and alcoholism. Each area was assigned a ranking in each category, based on quantitative data, and all five categories were then totaled to produce a final score, which was sorted to produce the rankings.

Four of the cities I've lived in appear on this list, starting with my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, which ranks #3. Go Buckeyes!!! With the three-hour time difference, I'll be expecting to hear from you around 5 AM. Great. Just about an hour before I get up. Based on your ranking, along with the fact that there isn't a damn thing to do there, you get my vote for most likely to call!

Here are the rest:

#6 - Chicago - two hours ahead. You'll probably head right back to work from the bar, because the commute takes five hours.
#12 - Seattle - I'm here, but you'll probably decide to get a new tattoo.
#19 - Portland, Oregon - same time zone, but you'll be looking for your lost pet ferret.

Anyway, in case you decide to bypass these other options, I'll be waiting to hear from all of you, from all across this great booze - infused country of ours. And don't forget to remind me that I'm the "best friend you've ever, ever had, man", 'cause I'll be feeling exactly the same way about you.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

heeeeeeey, alkeehol is what made me what I am.....uuummmmhhh,yea...and I was born and raised 40 milez east[?] of Dolumbus an I ain't no crunk!
you got any spare change?

11:49 PM  
Blogger FancyPants said...

Well, you're in "tattoo town" now, so hurry up and drive like a crazy person, wouldya? :) How did we end up so far away from home? Oh, I remember- there's nothing to do there......

9:40 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home